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Toaster Head

True story.

About 3 weeks ago we had quite a scare. At my daughter’s 2 month appointment, the doctor noticed that she was tending very strongly to turn her head to the right, or rather not to the left. The doctor also noticed that she had an elongated head, which the doctor said was called (in street slang) a toaster head. She told my wife that there was probably nothing to worry about, but recommended a sonogram. As soon as possible. There was a possibility that some of the skull bones had fused together and were causing the head to not have a circular growth. What’s to worry about?

A funny sidebar which added some levity to the situation is that after the appointment my 4yr old was talking to her sister and said “Aren’t you the cutest little piece of toast.”

I won’t lie – every possible bad outcome went through my head and likely some that aren’t even possible. A few days later we went for the sonogram – the skull and whatever else the sonogram picks up on looked fine. The doctors at the hospital thought the head turning might be a result of some muscle injury in the womb or at birth, but did not have any explanation for the head. Phew.

At this point I want to go on the record as saying her head looked fine to us, at least until until the doctor pointed out that it was misshapen. If I stare really close and squint, then I see the elongation she is talking about, but I can do the same experiment with similar results on a basketball.

Anyway, back the the medical pursuit of knowledge. We were still slightly concerned about the situation so both Alissa and I attended the follow up visit with our pediatrician. The doctor walks into the examining room and:

  1. Looks at me.
  2. Looks at my daughter (the toaster head).
  3. Looks at me.
  4. Turns to my wife and says “Mrs. Hughes had your husband come to the first appointment we could have avoided the testing. Your daughter is a toaster head because her father is a toaster head.”
  5. Writes “genetic” on the baby’s chart.

She then suggests we get some baby physical therapy for the head turning thing. I suggest we get me some therapy so I can accept my newly discovered misshapen head.

Thank goodness my wife is attracted (apparently) to toaster heads or I never would have had a chance to propagate the species!

As you know, I like to spin a yarn, but this is a true story.

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One Response

  1. Dan

    So I checked an infant photo of my wife. Turns out toaster heads are attracted to one another!